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Friday, April 17th, 2009
12:36 pm - Writer's Block: Theme Song
What song would you choose as the theme song for your life?
Tool - Lateralus

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Monday, October 10th, 2005
12:56 pm
"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home any more. All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit that idea of home is gone. Just sorta happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself."

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Saturday, October 1st, 2005
1:08 pm

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Sunday, September 11th, 2005
6:24 pm - long time no type.
Nothing is really going on in life. I'm suprised most people didn't take me off of their friends list since I don't update very much. I often start typing in here but then forget about it. I'll probably update more once I get a job or something monumental happens. I feel bad for my journal.

the truth of this is suprising.
DisorderRating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:High
Dependent Personality Disorder:High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low

-- Take the Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Info --



current mood: sore

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Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
12:09 am
S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A.: Synthetic Artificial Machine Assembled for Nocturnal Troubleshooting and Hazardous Assassination

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Sunday, August 21st, 2005
2:15 am
I need:
1) A job.
2) An apartment.
3) Friends.
4) The ability to be in public places for more than 10 minutes without wanting to crawl into fetal position.
5) A life.

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Thursday, August 11th, 2005
11:10 pm
My hair is thirty shades of green.

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Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
10:46 am - Sanity Assassin
Tom got me Bauhaus tickets. Oh my gosh. O_O!!!!!!!

They go onsale Friday but there was a PRESALE today I had no fucking idea about! I had a nervous breakdown last night about it. I am ridiculous. Somehow Tom figured out the god damn fan-club only password! I can now die happy.

People probably don't even care about this tour and I was freaking out for nothing. Hehe.

current mood: ecstatic

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Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
8:54 pm
memeCollapse )

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Sunday, August 7th, 2005
12:58 pm
I like klezmer music alot.




current mood: nauseated

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Monday, August 1st, 2005
4:10 pm - Fun stuff..
Saturday Tom and I headed up to Sleepy Hollow and the Lyndhurst Castle.

We first went to the Castle and the place was amazing. The castle was rather small but gorgeous and the property was so pretty and serene. We took some pictures and then had a tour on the inside. The inside was nice, alot of the furniture was left and things like that. I wish we could have taken photos inside but we were not allowed. Then we went over to Sleepy Hollow and it was quite a disappointment! The cemetary was not even old-looking and the church was boring.. once we got to the bridge it was sort of creepy though. Its deeper in the woods and more isolated so that was pretty snazzy. The river/stream/whatever was enjoyable. On the bridge there were two dead roses with spider webs around them and it was quite cliche and made me chuckle to myself but it was sexy. Why are cemeteries always the prettiest places around? It doesn't make much sense.. oh well. I uploaded some of pictures but then got annoyed. You can look at the pictures if you are bored here: http://photobucket.com/albums/b194/LilliesAndRemains/ . That is all for now.

Oh! And Peter Murphy announced that Bauhaus is getting back together and doing a world tour and a new cd. O_O!!!!!!! This news is possibly too great to be true and I am not going to believe it until I am holding the tickets in my hand but I am keeping my fingers crossed!

current mood: sneezy

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Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
3:12 am - I'll crush him with everything I own.
I kind of never update anymore.

The past couple of months have been a blur. I still don't have a job and I can't sleep ever so the days just sort of blend together in a weird way and confuse me. Tom and I have been looking at all these places. We like these abandoned places and drive around to look at them. There are places that make us think we are not in Staten Island and we want to move to the country and live in an old house but not really.

Sometimes I wish that grass had this sweet kind of smell and I could lay in it and not have bugs on me. I like late afternoon sun where its kind of warm and makes everything look nice. I like big old houses with wrap around porches and I want to eat breakfast and drink coffee and smoke cloves on them. I like when things are covered in dust. There are these pictures of the insides of abandoned houses where everything is left where it was. Dishes and clothes and stuff and I think its the most gorgeous thing ever and I want to go look for these places and just sit in them but I would be scared probably. We went to the Conference House and there was a garden and a cat and I thought I took a picture of an old lady ghost staring at me or maybe watching her cat but it was just curtains.

On Saturday Tom and I are supposed to be driving up to Sleepy hollow and Lyndhurst and there is this castle in lyndhurst and we are going to take pictures of it and eat sandwhiches. Maybe sleepy hollow will be all creepy-like and make me feel nice. For some reason I don't think we are going to go but I don't really mind either way.

We went to jersey with my parents and it was all country-ish in this part and they sold all this nice fresh food and I got this maple candy that I like. It was all nice. Then we went to this flea market and they have these knives. Knives make me feel all crazy inside. I like fancy little daggers and want 10 billion of them. Tom likes them too and we are going to have all knives and swords in our big old house and maybe all the little children in the neighborhood will be told to stay away from those eccentric people in that crazy house and they will make up stories about us over camp fires and dare eachother to ring our doorbell on Halloween and then we will actually be nice and give the best candy. Or maybe we will poison it. No, we'll be nice.

I am going to see Regina Spektor play tomorrow. She's really good.

So. How are you?

spinachCollapse )

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Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
4:14 pm
Part of my dream last night my teeth were falling out all crazy-like.. like my front teeth were lose and everytime i moved my mouth they would almost fall out and then the rest of my teeth got like that and then the molars starting chipping and i had a mouth full of tooth chips and blood and i kept on having to spit them out...

Atleast once a month I have a dream about my teeth falling out.

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Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
1:27 am
This Bauhaus DVD is the best thing I ever bought in my life.

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Sunday, June 19th, 2005
2:29 am
I broke up with Tom for an hour. We are back together. The world will no longer come to an end.

Never-ending Brazilian meats.

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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
2:19 am - Slicin' up eyeballs.
I saw the Pixies tonight. They are so amazing.
Interpol was good too but not the best I've seen them.

more importantly..

MICHAEL PITT WAS THERE AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND I STARED AT HIM ALOT. I almost made eye contact with him but then an evil bug attacked me and it ruined life. I wanted to pick up his cigarrette after he was done and keep it forever but I'm not that sad. maybe.

Davidperson that Tom works with came. it was an interesting day. We got there 3,000,000 hours early and had some kind of BBQ. Then we fried bird feathers and bottles. Then we threw cheese like frisbees. Then I threw cheese in some guys convertable and it stuck to the seat. It was really hot and I am so burnt and red and on fire. My life is weird. Sometimes I feel like I live in a movie. I am burning so this will end here. No one even reads this anyway.. why do I feel the need to explain.

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Thursday, June 9th, 2005
1:50 am - Even though no one will. Fun. :)
1. What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?
2. Go to http://images.google.com/ and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results.
4. Put this in your own blog if you're feeling playful.

current mood: mischievous

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Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
1:55 am - You took a white orchid and turned it blue.
I never feel like updating anymore.

Life has been insanity lately.. yet remains boring. My doctor put me on medicine that made me go insane. She also gave me Ambien which made me hallucinate. I was painting instead of sleeping and I thought satan and little kids were in my picture and moving and trying to get me. Also, I thought little people were running around my room and my computer screen was growing. I decided to get off everything and just go back to my normal insanity.

My parents left for Atlantic City on Monday and are coming back Thursday. I was okay but now I'm lonely. I don't even talk to them but atleast it feels like someone is around. I don't understand how people live by themselves.. its depressing. This would probably be more fun if I had more then one friend but I do not.

Today Tom took off to come spend the day with me. Oh how I love the Tom.
We slept for a while and just lounged around. Then I decided I needed to go to the cigar shop in New Dorp for cloves. BAD IDEA. It was so SO SO hot. The fact that I had on all black and a hoodie didn't help at all. We got cloves and then went to K-mart to get Tom some stuff. I thought I was going to fall down and roll and burst into flames. Tom got shirts and a crazy bathing suit shorts things. When we got back home Tom decided it would be a good idea to blow up my stupid little adult size pool. It took about 73 years to fill up. Originally I was a genius and was trying to blow it up with my electric pump thing in the DRAINAGE HOLE. Smart. I went in fully clothed and it was QUITE cold. Tom eventually came in and I kept yelling at him because his bright green glowing bathing suit made it look like he was peeing in the pool. He was also wearing my Gay Crusader and it was funny. Tom eventually decided it would be a good idea to run in circles in the pool with a watering can and wound up falling and like breaking his toe. hahahah. oh. Its not funny. But it is. Also, I can breakdance in the pool.

I wish I lived with Tom. I also wish I had a job.
Someone hire me.

Jack White. YES.

current mood: lonely

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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
7:24 am - My breath smells real bad.
I can't sleep anymore. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't so lonely and boring. I wish there were crazy fun activities from 12-6am. The weirdest time is 5am. I get all weird and crazy and can't tell if I'm going insane or if I am actually sleeping and I start thinking there are giant bugs crawling on my ceiling or something and then I smoke. Then I get paranoid that my lungs are going to turn black all of a sudden and I will start wheezing and spitting out blood and little black chunky pieces of my lungs.

All I do is stay up all night and then sleep until 2:45pm and wait for Tom to come home from work and come over for a little while. I feel like one of those commercials or tv shows where there is a loser sibling that lives in the basement that droped out of college and now all it does is lay on the couch and eat cereal in their underwear and sniff their armpits to see if they smell or not while wiping milk off their chin.

My parents are weird and confusing and telling me not to get a job until I decide what I wanna do.. shouldn't they be saying the opposite? Sometimes I wish I had parents that yelled at me and told me to go get a job or they are kicking me out of the house. They support my bum ways. I want a 9-5 mind numbing job that I don't have to think about once I leave. Even though I like make-up(and am good at something for once) I don't want to work at the mall with guidoy people talking about versace and going tanning.

Sometimes all of a sudden the insides of my ears get real cold. Am I dieing?

current mood: sore

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Saturday, May 14th, 2005
2:53 pm - they might be giants.. here come the abc's
I went to see They Might Be Giants last night. They were beyond great. I got a shirt. It's blue. I didn't hate anyone at a place for the first time ever, possibly. A boy had a corn-cobbed pipe. Good stuff. Fun times. And other such ramblings. Now lyrics.

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four womenCollapse )

current mood: blah

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